Learning to Love
by seejanewrite88
Summary: AU (chapter 2 reposted-revised) Suze transfers to the mission, where she meets Jesse and everyone else. They have to try to break through her shell and find out what happened in her past. R&R!
1. Default Chapter

**Hey, guys. Okay, this is my new story. It's AU, and sort of a Mediator-ized version of a plot line I have in mind for a story I just sort of started.**

**Anyway, I hope you all like it. I am still sort of iffy with when things go where, so there might be reposts and revisions, but I will do my best to stay on top of keeping you informed, so I don't completely confuse you.**

**Well, review! I hope you like it.**

**Rating: T for language, adult themes, and maybe some sex eventually :) If you're good, of course.**

**Disclaimer: Characters, locations, and a few sections of the story belong to Meg. The rest is mine.**

**Summary: Suze transfers to the Juniperro Serra Mission Academy after something happens at her old school, RLS. It's here that she meets Jesse. He, along with Cee Cee and her new friends, have to try to break through her shell and find out what happened in her past.**

Chapter One 

The first day of school.

My mom led me through the breezeways and arches of the Mission to the principal's office.

I knew the school, at least a little bit. My step brothers when here. I'd been dragged to one or two of Dopey's wrestling matches, been bored to death at Doc's science fair last spring (but, of course, proud of him).

I'd went to one of Paul's away matches last year, to cheer him on.

I quickly shoved those thoughts out of my brain—_New leaf, Suze. You can start over. No one knows about what happened._

"Susie? Come on," my mom chided, and I realized that I was still hanging out outside the lobby of the office, while she held the door open for me.

I quickly stepped in, and shut the door behind me. The nun at the desk looked up with a benign smile.

"Mrs. Ackerman, lovely to see you. Father Dominic will be ready in a few minutes. He's in a meeting with a student." My mom nodded, thanked her, and pushed me into one of the chairs that lined the wall.

There was another kid sitting there, obviously waiting for Father Dominic too. He gave me a friendly smile, which I returned half-heartedly.

I sat down a few chairs away from him, and became transfixed with the giant crucifix hanging above the nun's head. "He's supposed to weep tears of blood if any girl graduates from here a virgin." I jumped, trying to find where the voice had come from. I looked to my right, and the boy who was sitting there had a serious expression on his face. The nun at the desk made a noise of derision. "It's true," he said. "It happened last year. My sister." His voice dropped to a whisper. "She's adopted." I was startled into laughing, and his grave expression broke into a grin.

It was then that the door to the principal's office opened—his brass nameplate sparkled when the door swung—and out stepped…

Not a priest, I can tell you that much. It was a guy.

A _very_ good looking one, at that.

He was tall, and had tan skin—probably Hispanic or something—and dark hair and darker eyes. Even under his khaki pants and red button down, it was clear he was well-built. I bet he had an amazing chest… and stomach… and…

"You must be Susannah." I was startled from my mental undressing of the guy, and suddenly realized what I had been doing. No, I told myself. _Not again_. Never again.

I focused my eyes on who had just spoken, and saw another man, this one obviously the principal. He had white hair, a friendly face, and one of those white things in the collar of his otherwise black ensemble. I tried to ignore the attempt at eye contact the hot guy was making. I could see out of the corner of my eye that he was looking at me with a small smile on his face, and it was killing me.

"Jesse, can you wait here for a few moments? And Adam, I'll speak to you soon." He turned his attention back my mother and me. "Come in, Mrs. Ackerman, Susannah." He ushered us into his office, and shut the door.

"Welcome to the Mission Academy," Father Dominic said. I gave him a bland smile, and he launched into a speech about the school rules. I didn't pay much attention. I mean, they were the same in every school. No drinking, no drugs, no smoking on school property, no weapons (which includes nail clippers apparently. Bummer.), no anything, really, except for books.

"Now, Mrs. Ackerman, thank you for coming in, but I think it's time that Susannah gets to class." She nodded, and stood up.

"Thank you, Father." She looked at me. "Now, be good." She said it lightly, but her eyes told me otherwise.

"I will," I said, my required response. She kissed my forehead, shook Father Dominic's hand, and left.

"Now, Susannah," he began, but I interrupted him.

"Please, call me Suze." He smiled.

"I think I prefer Susannah. Now…" he opened the door, and called _that guy_ back in. I held my breath, and clutched my bag to me, like it was a shield to protect me from hot guys and hormones.

I wish.

"Jesse, I'd like you to meet Susannah." He smiled at me, which I returned. I was only being polite.

Right?

"Hello, Susannah," he said, smiling. God, he was beautiful. My bag wasn't doing what I wanted it to.

"Hi," I squeezed out from my lips.

"Jesse is a senior here, and I've asked him to give you a tour of the school, to introduce you to some of your peers. Your mother tells me you were quite popular at your old school… I am sure you will fit right--" He broke off when suddenly, a pre-teen girl (maybe eleven or twelve) materialized between me and him. She looked at Father Dominic, and Jesse, who quickly exchanged nervous glances.

"Hello, Father. Hi, Jesse," she said coyly, batting her eyelashes. God, she was, like, 12. Then she looked at me. "Who's she?" she asked. Father Dominic cleared his throat.

"Where was I? Oh, yes… I'm sure you will fit right in."

"Father Dominic, she can see me," the girl said. "Can't you?"

I was pretty much certain by then that they were mediators too, so I decided to throw caution to the wind and I nodded. "I can see you. What's your name?" Jesse and Father Dominic looked shocked, but the girl just smiled.

"I'm Annie."

Father Dominic quickly recovered, and looked thoughtful.

"Annie, do you think you could excuse us?" She nodded, and disappeared.

"Susannah, you're a mediator." It was not a question, but I answered it anyway. Anything to keep my mind of Jesse, who was approaching me and taking my mother's vacated seat.

"Yea, I guess. I mean, that's what my dad said. After he died. I mean, I'd been seeing ghosts before that, but I never really knew why. But then my dad told me. Well, not only my dad, but this psychic my friend Gina dragged me to before…" I trailed off. Jesse had gently touched my arm.

God. I stopped babbling at just him _touching my arm_?

Great willpower, Suze.

"Have you met any others? Besides us, I mean," Jesse asked.

"My boyfriend is one," I said without thinking. Jesse recoiled slightly. But only slightly. "Ex-boyfriend, I mean. _Ex._"

"Really," Father Dominic said. "I'd love to meet him. Four of us, working together, would be wonderful. Would you like to ask him to come and have a meeting?" I gripped the armrests tightly, until my knuckles turned white.

"No!" I almost shouted. Father Dominic looked startled. Jesse looked concerned. I lowered my voice. "No. He's not someone you want to work with." Father Dominic looked dubious, but let it slide.

"Well, Susannah, you really ought to get to class now. Jesse, would you like to show her?"

"Certainly, Father." He got up, as did I. Father Dominic handed me a schedule.

"She has Sister Beth for English now," he told Jesse. He opened the door for us.

"Susannah, I'd like to speak to you again… perhaps during lunch?" I nodded, but my mind wasn't on my principal.

It was on Jesse's hand, which was on my shoulder guiding me from the office.

"Now, Adam, come in… Sister Ernestine said that…" Jesse led me out of the office, and into a breezeway.

"Where did you come from?" he asked. At first I thought this was a really rude question, but then I realized what he was asking.

"Oh. RLS," I said. "I transferred after…er… well, I thought I'd like the Mission Academy better," I finished lamely. "But before that I lived in Brooklyn. Until my mom re-married, that is." He nodded.

"David Ackerman is your brother?" he asked.

"Step," I corrected. I was finding it difficult to breath. Jesse had let go of my shoulder, but was still walking close to me, and his hand kept brushing against mine.

"He is a good kid. I help out Mr. Gatwick, the chemistry teacher, some afternoons, to coach the Science Olympiad team."

"That's nice," I said. He paused.

"Did you know any mediators back in New York?" he asked. I shook my head.

"I think it was just me," I said. He laughed.

"Well, here you are," he said. We had stopped outside of a classroom, where I heard _The Tempest_ being read out loud through the door. I reached for the handle, but he grabbed my arm. "Hey, are you busy after school? Maybe we could go to the Coffee Clutch. Share some stories about the ghosts we've dealt with. Living in New York must have given you some interesting adventures." His eyes twinkled, and he smiled.

My heart wanted so badly to scream, "Yes!" but my brain, for once, shut it down.

I averted my eyes from his warm, welcoming ones, and uncomfortably adjusted my book bag on my shoulder. "I don't think so. Thanks, though." His smile turned into a frown. "Thanks for showing me to class."

And with that, before I lost control of my body and my mouth, I slipped into the classroom, leaving Jesse, confused and alone, in the hallway.

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Hmm… so, what do you all think?

Review, and just maybe I'll get another chapter up tomorrow :) Gotta love spring break.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys. You are all awesome. I got, like, 7 reviews in less than an hour. That's AMAZING.

Here's chapter 2 for you. For those of you who are wondering why Suze turned Jesse down, and what happened with her ex… well, that's the whole plot line, isn't it?

Chapter 2

"And you must be Ms. Simon." I turned from the door, breathing a little unevenly, to face a middle-aged nun, holding open a book and smiling.

"Uh… yea," I said intelligently. "Hi." Someone snickered, but I ignored them.

"Father Dominic said that you would be a bit late to class. Have a seat." There was one seat open near the window, between an albino girl (I never knew people could be albino too. I mean, once in like 7th grade a reptile expert came, and he had an albino boa constrictor… but it never crossed my mind that there would be albino _girls_) and a girl who is likely one of the Queen Bees of the school, if her designer outfit and perfectly colored honey blonde hair was to say anything. "Now, Ms. Simon, we're short one copy of the book, but I'll have one for you, if you can stop by my office after school. For now, please look on with Ms. Webb or Ms. Mancuso." Not knowing which was which, I scooted my desk over towards the albino girl.

The less popular, I've learned, are less likely to stab you in the back.

"Cee Cee Webb," she whispered, introducing herself, while Sister Beth called on someone to read.

"Suze Simon," I answered politely.

"Where'd you move from?" she asked. God, all I wanted was to read the story. I didn't need friends.

And my friends obviously didn't need me.

"I transferred from RLS," I whispered back. She looked like she was going to ask another question, when Sister Beth interrupted.

"Ms. Webb? Would you care to explain what just happened in the first scene?" I zoned out while she summarized, staring at the words on the page but not actually reading them.

I spent the last 10 minutes of class doing this, until, without warning, all the kids stood up and started leaving. I stared around, confused.

"C'mon, Simon," Cee Cee said. "Where's your next class?" I fumbled for my schedule.

"Trig with… Ryson?" She pulled me up.

"Me too. Let's go."

……………………………………………………………………………………

By the time lunch rolled around, I decided having Cee Cee around wasn't such a bad thing. She was really smart, and funny.

But, you know, all I really needed was someone to sit with at lunch, so I didn't look like a complete freak.

Right?

However, it looked like I didn't have to worry about not sitting with anyone, even if I wasn't exactly looking for friends. Along with her, I ended up sitting with that boy from the office that morning, Adam, another girl—Rose? Rachel? Something with an 'R'—and a few other people I didn't catch the names of.

I sat there, eating the lunch Andy had made for me, when Cee Cee looked over my head, and I felt my back get a chill, having suddenly been covered by a shadow that had not been there a moment before.

"Hey, Jesse," she said, and I choked.

"Hello, Cee. Hello, Susannah," he said. "Father Dominic would like to see you again." Shit! I had completely forgotten. I quickly finished my lunch, shoving the rest into my mouth and chugging the rest of my juice. Jesse chuckled.

"Come, Susannah," he said. I sighed.

"Call me Suze," I told him, trying to keep my heart from speeding out of control.

"I think Susannah is a beautiful name," he said with a smile. He appeared completely unscathed from being shot down earlier that morning.

It would be so much easier for me if he disappeared into the corner to lick his wounds and heal his punctured male ego like any normal guy would.

Back in the little lobby of Father Dominic's office, the nun there raised her eyebrows at me, and said, "Father Dominic will see you two in a moment." Jesse pulled me down into the chair next to him. I picked at my nails, in attempts to avoid eye contact or conversation, but instead just completely ruining the paint job I had done that morning to match my green button down and cream-colored skirt. Jesse rested his arm casually on the arm rest, so that his skin was grazing mine.

What was with him touching me? Doesn't he know that it's driving me _crazy_?

After several hours (actually, it was only about 5 minutes, but it felt like hours), Father Dominic came out of his office, showing two people out. "Thank you for coming in. I'll call you both soon," he told them. Then he saw us. "Ah, Susannah, Jesse. Please, come in." I stood up hastily and hurried in. Jesse followed lazily, with a supreme confidence and self-assuredness that I envied.

"Now, Susannah, I wanted to speak to you about a ghost who has been visiting us the past few days. She is a young woman about your age, who died in a car crash about a week ago." I vaguely remember my mother telling us about the "tragedy" over dinner one day. "She says that she has to tell her boyfriend something, but when we ask her what, she gets frustrated and leaves." I smirked.

"God, you two are such guys," I told them. "She probably wants you to tell him that she loves him. Girls are always too afraid to when they're alive, but then when they're dead it's too late." Well, not always too afraid. But I think those who aren't afraid are the perfect example of why others are.

Father Dominic stroked his chin. Jesse looked thoughtful. "I imagine that could be right," he said. "Jesse, do you know of how to get in touch with Lily?" He shook his head. _Lily is a pretty name,_ I thought. _It's too bad she died._

Suddenly, she appeared. She was a little bit shorter than me, with dark blonde hair and stylish glasses. She was wearing jeans and an American Eagle tee-shirt, and looked vaguely familiar.

"Who are you?" she asked me.

"I'm Suze," I said.

"You look familiar. Do you go to RLS?" she asked. I paused.

"I did," I said carefully. "But I go here now."

"Susannah is here to help you," Jesse said. "Like us."

"Listen… did you want us to tell your boyfriend that you love him?" She sighed, exasperated.

"Finally! I was wondering when they would figure it out. It's about time!" she said. I grinned.

"A bit obvious, huh?" She nodded, smiling too. "Well, can you tell us your boyfriend's name, so we can tell him?"

"Ryan Litrell." My eyes widened. Now I knew where I'd known her from. "Can you tell him for me?" I hesitated.

"One of us will," I said hesitantly. She beamed.

"Thank you _so _much," she said, and then she was gone.

"Wonderful work, Susannah," Father Dominic said. "I had a good feeling about you. Now, how about we find this Ryan boy's phone number, and then you can call him? There's a payphone just outside the property, the number won't be traced."

"Uh, I don't think I'm the best to do it… Jesse? How about you?" I said quickly. He looked a bit perplexed.

"Sure, Susannah," he said slowly.

Father Dominic looked at his watch. "Your lunch will be over in about ten minutes… you can go now, I don't want to take up all your free time," he said. Jesse and I left.

For lack of anywhere else to go, I rejoined Cee Cee and Adam, and Jesse came too. I guess he was friends with them.

"So, Suze, we were all going to the beach this afternoon. Want to come with?" Adam asked. "I can teach you to surf, if you don't know how," he offered flirtatiously. It sounded like fun, but stopped myself.

"Uh… I don't think so. I have… stuff to do after school," I said. He was unperturbed.

"Maybe tomorrow then." He asked Rayna (or Reily) a question, and everyone stopped paying attention to me…

Except Jesse, whose intense stare I tried to ignore. I pretended to be fascinated by something Cee Cee was telling me, but I felt his eyes burning my face for the rest of lunch.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

After school, I found Sister Beth and got a copy of the book, then I waited by Jake's car patiently while he battled through the hordes of girls who were chatting him up. Not really, but there were a few girls hanging around who wouldn't leave.

Eventually, though, he finally came to unlock the door and let me, Dave, and Brad in.

Back at home, I went immediately up to my room, after grabbing an orange, and started doing my homework.

The rest of the week went along just like that. I'd go to school, have a chat with Father Dominic, working on whatever ghost had popped in with him and Jesse, and refusing to do anything outside of school with Jesse, Cee Cee, or Adam. I had lunch with them, and did have a lot of fun… but whenever my lips formed a "Yes" when they invited me to go to the beach, or to get coffee, or ice cream, or just to hang out, my brain kicked in and I remembered that I couldn't.

So there I was, about a week later, at home after school, doing my homework. I had only gotten through a few more pages than what we had read that day in "The Tempest" when Annie popped in for a visit.

"Hi, Suze!" she said, bouncing a bit on my canopy bed.

"Hi, Annie," I said back, getting up to throw away my peel. "How are things going?" She stopped bouncing, and shrugged.

"Okay, I guess. I tried going home, but my mommy was really sad and it made me sad." I frowned.

"Annie, if you don't mind my asking… how did you die?" Tact I may lack, but at least I got answers.

"I was walking home from my friend's house when a big car came flying around the corner. They hit me, but then they drove away."

"Do you know what type of car it was?" I asked. "Then maybe we can find out who was driving it, and he can get in trouble. Then maybe you'll be able to go to heaven." At least, I hoped she would go to heaven.

I was suddenly reminded of this movie I had watched last year in English, "Defending Your Life." In it, this guy died and had to defend how he lived his life, so he can move on. The bit one of the lawyers said that kids automatically moved on.

"It was blue… or maybe black. It was big, bigger than my mommy's van." I nodded.

"An SUV?" I asked. She shrugged.

"Maybe."

"How old are you?" I asked.

"Ten and a half," she said. Huh, I guess kids are looking older and older these days.

There was a knock on my door, and Annie disappeared. "Come in," I called.

"Susie, how was school?" my mom asked, coming to sit next to me. I shrugged.

"It was okay," I said vaguely. She paused, and rubbed my back a bit. "Father Dominic seems nice," I supplied, knowing exactly why she had started it. To get details.

"That's good. He is a nice man." She paused again. "Listen, dinner will be ready in about an hour. Jake's friend just came over. They have a project for history they need to get started on, and he's eating with us tonight." I nodded, and she left.

An hour later, Andy called me down. I put down my pencil, and hurried down the stairs. I stopped dead at the foot of the stairs, because there, talking to my mom, was Jesse. He heard me, and turned around and smiled.

"Hello, Susannah," he said. I smiled weakly.

"Susie, do you know Jesse?" my mom asked.

"We… sit together at lunch," I said, shooting Jesse a look clearly telling him to keep his mouth shut about the mediator business.

"Oh, that's nice," she said. "Sit down, everyone." I sat down at my usual chair, and Jesse sat down next to me.

I should be glad that a guy so obviously likes me, at least a little bit. Any normal girl would be swooning, jumping at the chance to go out with him, to fall in love with him.

But I can't. Not after what happened last time I fell for a guy.

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

After dinner, Jesse told Jake he had somewhere to go, and that he'd come back over in a few days. I had started back up to my room when Jesse called my name. "_Querida_, Adam, Cee Cee, Rachel, and I are meeting for ice cream at eight. Come with us."

"What did you call me?" I asked, my eyes narrowed. He laughed.

"Come with us, _Querida_. Please?" He then gave me a dazzling smile, and hit the weak spot of my shield. I sighed.

"Okay."

"Don't sound too excited," he joked. "Come on, I'll drive." And with that, we left.

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Now review, my darlings. NOW.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey all. Don't expect such quick updates in the future… I'm on Spring Break and all my friends are gallivanting off in Florida or the Caribbean, so I am alone with my computer and no life.

But I'm glad you're enjoying it so far.

I'd like to thank my darling daughter SAZZMATAZZ for being a consultant on this story :)

By the way, the song for the story: "Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own" by U2

PS- I changed a bit of the previous chapter… the ice cream thing takes place about a week after the first day of school, if you're too lazy to re-read the previous chapter… that's about all I changed, anyway.

Chapter 3

Jesse pulled his slightly battered car into the parking lot of a more than slightly battered Dairy Queen right on the ocean. It was a place that I'd seen, but never been to.

Cee Cee and Adam were all ready out there, waiting for Jesse and Rachel to show up. They waved when they saw Jesse's car pull up, and got even more excited when they saw me.

"Suze! Hey, you came!" Jesse led me around the old wooden fence and sat down on top of one of the picnic tables, next to Cee Cee.

"Uh… yea, I did," I said, unsure of what to do and say.

"I was over at Susannah's house to work with her brother on a project for history, and when I left I kidnapped her and took her along," Jesse teased, winking at me. I smiled back, getting caught up in him.

"Hog tied and everything in the trunk," I said seriously. They laughed, and I smiled. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.

I got myself a cherry Mister Misty, while Jesse got himself a vanilla cone with rainbow sprinkles.

When we sat back down, Cee Cee, ever the inquisitive and observant one, asked, "Did you always live here in California? Because you have a weird accent and I can't place it." I laughed.

"I grew up in Brooklyn," I said, "but moved here about a year ago."

"New York!" Rachel said, impressed. "What was that like?"

For the next 20 minutes, I recounted memories far less painful than those more recent. Somewhere in there, Jesse's arm ended up casually around my waist. At this point, though, I didn't care. Here I was, having fun, enjoying myself. Everything that had happened was out of my head.

Until…

"_Suze_?" I heard someone call out, and my blood froze.

Out of nowhere appeared three people I was very familiar with. "Oh my God, it is you!" one said. "Everyone has been wondering what happened to you." My blood thawed a bit. Maybe things had improved. "Marissa said that you killed yourself. I mean, considering what happened last month, none of us were particularly surprised," Jenna said. Her voice lowered, though everyone I was with had gotten so quiet, they heard it too. "Or upset." Jesse took my hand and squeezed it reassuringly, while my other hand gripped the edge of the table. The other girl, Maria, noticed this.

"God, Suze, you're sleeping with some other guy already?" _Since holding hands always means sex_, my still functioning piece of my brain said dimly. "I always knew you were a _slut_." With that, I launched myself from the table, and ran as fast as I could out to the beach. In the back of my head, I dimly heard Jesse calling my name, and Maria and Jenna laughing as Adam tried to tell them off.

God, how could I have forgotten? How could I have been so stupid to think that things could change?

Jesse caught up with me and grabbed me around the middle to keep me from running any further. "Susannah," he said, turning me around to face him. Embarrassingly, I felt him wipe away my tears that were running down my cheeks. "Are you alright? Who were those girls?" I sniffled, hastily finished rubbing the moisture from my cheeks, and took a deep breath.

"I'm fine, Jesse. Don't worry about it. It's nothing." He frowned.

"Susannah, this is not nothing. Who were they? Why did they say such things to you?" I shrugged.

"I don't know, they're bitches. Come on, let's get back," I said, and started walking back towards the building, but Jesse grabbed my arm and pulled me back to him.

"Susannah… you don't have to pretend that everything's okay. Not with me." His hand held my face so softly, more gently than it's ever been held. I couldn't move. All I could do was look into his eyes.

His face slowly came closer, and closer, and I prayed that he would kiss me.

But then I remembered what happened last time this had happened… the last time I had fallen for someone.

And I had swore to myself I'd never let it happen again.

I pulled away from his gaze and his grip, and looked down at the sand. "I'm sorry, Jesse, I have to go."

And with that, I ran, again. He called after me, but I couldn't face him.

I found a payphone at another small restaurant a little less than half a mile down the beach. From there, I called my mom and had her pick me up.

And when I got home, I crashed into bed and cried.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

"Mmm…" 

"_Paul… stop…" I moaned. His hot mouth continued trailing down my neck, his hands kept at the button of my pants—he had already discarded of my shirt. "Paul, NO." He finally rolled off me, breathing heavily. I sat up and reached for my shirt, slipped it back over my shoulders, and started at the buttons._

"_Come on, Suze," he said, his voice heavy._

"_Not now, Paul. Not here."_

"_Don't you trust me?"_

"_Of course I do Paul. It's just that I'm not ready." He sighed, and rolled off of the bed. He reached for his own shirt, clearly brooding._

"_Are you mad?" I asked carefully, buttoning the last button and running my hand through my already tousled hair. He didn't respond for a moment. Eventually, though, he took a deep breath and turned around to face me._

"_No, Suze, I'm not mad. Now come on, let's get back downstairs. There's still a party going on _there_." He took my hand, and pulled me back down to the loud, pulsing music and hordes of bodies._

………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Suze? Suze…?" I jumped, startled out of my thoughts. Cee Cee was standing there, anxiously, looking down at me. "I tried to call you last night, but your mom said you were asleep. Jesse tried too." I shrugged, not looking her in the eye.

"I was tired." She sat down on the bench next to me. School was about to start.

"Are you… okay?" she asked carefully.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" I said, getting up. "I've got to go see Father Dominic really quickly."

With that, I walked away without another word.

"Hey, Father D," I said, coming into his office. "What's up?" He looked up from his papers.

"Hello, Susannah, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"I was wondering if there were any leads in Annie's hit and run," I asked. He took off his glasses and looked at me.

"What?"

"Annie? You know, that little girl who's been visiting us every once in a while? Do you know if they arrested anyone?" He looked at me, amazed.

"She's never told either Jesse or I how she died."

"Really?" I was surprised. "She told me she was walking home from her friend's house when a blue or black car—probably an SUV—hit her." Father Dominic narrowed his eyes.

"You didn't… do anything to her, did you?" He had seen some of my, ah, techniques with another particularly stubborn ghost.

"No, of course not! She's 10!" Father Dominic nodded distractedly, and pushed a button to connect him with his secretary.

"Sister Jillian? Can you call Jesse de Silva down to my office please? Thank you." He disconnected. "Jesse would be very pleased to hear what you've learned." I quickly stood up.

"Uh, Father Dom, I think I should get to class now… big day in The Tempest," I said. "I'll talk to you later." I was almost out the door when he stopped me.

"Susannah, did something happen with Jesse? Why don't you want to see him?"

"Me? Not want to see Jesse?" I scoffed. "That has nothing to do with it! I just need to get to class." He still looked suspicious, but let me leave.

However, my luck had run out. As I was rounding the corner, Jesse was coming in the other direction. Some students were still scattered about, but most had already gotten to class. First period would start any second.

"Susannah!" he said. "What happened last night? Where did you go? We were all worried about you." I shrugged.

"I was tired. I didn't want to bother you, so I called my mom and had her pick me up." His frowned deepened.

"Susannah," he said gently. "Don't do this."

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

He had opened his mouth to reply when a novice came up to us. "Excuse me, where are you two supposed to be? Get to class."

"I have a pass to see Father Dominic," Jesse explained. She shooed him off, and I hurried the rest of the way to class.

……………………………………………………………………………………….

After school, I was about to go home when I felt someone grab the back of my shirt and shove me in a car. I shrieked, of course, until I saw that it was Adam.

"Come on, Suze, we're going to the beach." I raised my eyebrows.

"Just us?"

"I thought Cee Cee and Jesse might get jealous, so they're coming too." I quickly tried to open the door, but he had already started driving.

"I don't have a bathing suit," I said, "or a towel or anything! Besides, I have a lot of stuff to do, and-"

"Nonsense. I am taking you personally to your house, so you can get changed and get your stuff."

"Really… it's okay. You can just drop me off here. You don't need to go to that trouble."

"No trouble at all. It wouldn't be worth going if you aren't there." Suddenly, I realized.

Maybe these guys wouldn't turn on me. Maybe… just maybe, these people wouldn't hurt me like my old friends did.

Of course, they weren't the ones who hurt me the most.

Paul takes that prize.

Adam, true to his word, dropped me off, where I quickly changed into my black bikini and grabbed a towel and suntan lotion and my sunglasses.

I left a hurried note to my mother, telling her where I was, and, happier than I was in weeks, jumped back into the car with Adam.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

When we got there, Cee Cee was already sitting underneath her umbrella with her beach gear—long pants, long sleeved shirt, sunglasses, hat, and SPF 80—on, with Jesse on the town next to her, wearing only a bathing suit.

I was totally right from my first assessment of him. He had an _amazing_ body. I scoped him out, glad I had my sunglasses on so he couldn't tell that I was staring at him.

"Oh, I grabbed some soda on the way here," Jesse said, "and some snacks. Susannah, can you come help me bring them over?" Figures, he would chose me.

"Sure," I said. Hey, I was in a good mood. I followed him to his car.

"Father Dominic said that Annie spoke to you about what happened to her," he said as he popped the trunk. "How did you do it?" I shrugged.

"I just asked her, and she told me."

"I've asked her dozens of times, but she hasn't said a word." I grinned as I grabbed the bag of chips.

"I guess I've just got skill, huh?"

"Sure you do," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"Hey!" I hit his arm, and he laughed.

Back at our area, we dropped the stuff on the blanket, and I reached for my suntan lotion and started spreading it over my arms and shoulders.

"Can someone get my back?" I asked, taking off my shirt.

"Sure," Jesse volunteered—rather quickly, I noticed—and he came around behind me.

Suddenly, he got very quiet.

"Susannah… where'd you get this bruise?"

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And review, my precious(es).


	4. Chapter 4

Y'all rock, that's all I have to say. :D

Here's chapter 4

Chapter 4

I froze as his fingers grazed the tender spots on my spine.

"Paul?" I stood outside the locker room. It was summer, late August, but he had tennis practice, which had just ended. Tears were welled behind my eyes, and my hand that held the note shook. He turned at his name, saw who had said it, and groaned.

"_Suze, go home," he said. "I don't have anything to say to you. Nothing that isn't in that note."_

"_But Paul," I cried, "This has to be a joke, right?" I held the note up, and he sighed._

"_Suze, you know it's not a joke. We're over, okay?"_

"_But Paul, please, I love you," I said. God, I knew I shouldn't be doing this. I'm not an idiot, contrary to current actions. But why would he do this to me?_

_He rolled his eye. I looked through the window, and I saw a girl I knew, Laura, waiting at Paul's car. She had obviously just finished field hockey practice. My tears broke loose._

"_Paul, why are you doing this? I love you!" He started past me, ignoring my sobbing, but I grabbed his arm. "Why, Paul? What, was I not good enough? Why did you break up with me for _her_?"_

_Suddenly, Paul's patience with me, the pitiful ex-girlfriend, snapped. He grabbed my arms and shoved me against the lockers. I cried out in pain, feeling the little locks and handles hit my spine. I twisted my face away from his angry eyes. He grabbed my shoulders and squeezed them, holding me against the wall, keeping the pressure of the locks against me._

"_God, Suze, just shut up, okay? We're over. Now leave me the hell alone." He pushed away from me with one last burst of pain, and disappeared. He went over to Laura, kissed her cheek, and climbed into the car._

_And drove off, leaving me, crying and clutching my aching arms, wishing I could sooth the pain in my back._

"Susannah, where did you get this?" he asked. I shrugged, avoiding the question.

"I thought it was gone," I mumbled, quickly lunging away from him to put my shirt back on.

Before I could, though, Adam came around and saw. "Oh, man, Suze… and you have more. On your arms." I had worn long sleeved shirts around them for a reason.

"It's nothing," I said.

"Susannah, what happened?" Jesse demanded. I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"It's _nothing_, okay? God, relax."

"No, I'm not going to relax," Jesse shot back. I was surprised. He'd never raised his voice to me like that.

"Just mind your own damn business!" I shouted. Cee Cee and Adam looked shocked. A few people around us looked on curiously. "Nothing _happened_. I'm _fine._"

"Susannah--"

"What do you want me to say, Jesse? The bruises are nothing. Now please, just mind your own business!"

"Susannah, they are _not_ nothing. You are clearly keeping something from us. Why do you have bruises on your arms and back? Why did those girls come and say those things to you last night? What happened?"

"God! Just leave me alone!" Our voices had gotten even louder, and I saw someone go to report the disturbance to a lifeguard.

Cee Cee finally intervened. "Guys, _stop it_. Suze, come with me." She grabbed my wrist and pulled me away, down towards the water on the opposite side of the swimming area. I turned around and saw Jesse, obviously very frustrated, kick his chair and say something to Adam.

"Sit." I sat down on the sand. "Are you okay?" I sighed.

"I told you, the bruises are nothing. I can't even feel them. I--"

"I'm not talking about your back. I heard. As did," she smirked, "half the beach." I blushed. "I'm talking about you. And Jesse."

"What about me and Jesse?" I asked. I could feel my pink cheeks darken to crimson.

"Please. It's _obvious_ he's crazy about you. And you are crazy about him." I raised my eyebrows.

"Am I now?" I asked dubiously, even though I had begun to suspect the very same thing.

She rolled her eyes. "Are you calmed down?" I shrugged. "Can you go back there and not start a fight with Jesse?"

"I didn't start it," I said indignantly. "If he would just leave me _alone--_" She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Come on. Now, play nice." She pulled me back off the sand, and led me back to our set up.

As we walked, I asked her a question. "Why did he get so mad, if he's so crazy about me?" She snorted.

"You have to ask that question? He got mad _because_ he's crazy about you. You are obviously not telling him something, and he's worried." I reflected on that while we finished the trek up the beach.

Adam had apparently calmed Jesse down too, but he was still brooding. I didn't say anything to him, and he didn't say anything to me. Neither of us were in the mood for swimming or surfing, so Adam went off to the water by himself, and Cee Cee appeared to have fallen asleep.

I had taken my shirt off again, just because I was getting so hot, and I wanted to work on my tan. I laid on my towel, not saying anything, until I heard Jesse sigh.

"Susannah," he started, and I took of my sunglasses so I could look at him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"It's okay, Jesse. I know you're just worried about me." He came and sat down next to me. "But don't. I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself, okay?"

He looked like he was going to disagree for a moment, but then finally just gave me a small smile. "Okay."

…………………………………………………………………………………….

About an hour later, I felt someone gently shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes, and saw Jesse leaning over me.

"Querida, wake up," he said, smiling. I sat up.

"What did you call me?"

"Come on, I'll drive you home." He offered his hand, and pulled me to my feet. "I'm meeting Jake tonight to work on our project, anyway." I gathered the rest of my stuff, and walked with him to his car.

"Did Cee Cee go with Adam?" I asked as he pulled out of the parking lot. He nodded. "Is there something going on between the two of them?" I asked. He laughed.

"I've been wondering that question for more than three years, ever since I moved here and became friends with them."

"Where did you move from?" I asked.

"Well, I grew up on a ranch about a half a day's drive from here, and my mother home schooled my sisters and I. When it was time for high school I wanted to go to a regular school, but none of the ones in the ranch's sending district were good enough… so I moved down here, and live with my Aunt Elena and Uncle Jose," he explained, navigating his car expertly up the hill.

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Five." My eyes widened. "Marta, Mercedes, Carmen, Elena, and Anna Maria."

"All younger?" I asked.

"Yes. Marta is about your age, perhaps a bit younger, and Anna is 7."

"Do you miss them?" I asked.

"All the time." He pulled onto my street, and continued up the hill. "Now, Susannah, tell me about your family."

"Well, I was born in Brooklyn. My dad died when I was 6, then my mom got married to Andy when I was 15, like, two weeks before my birthday. And that's when I got 3 step siblings, Jake, Brad, and David."

"No blood siblings?" he asked. "That must have been lonely."

"That's what everyone who comes from a big family says to an only child," I laughed. "I was fine. My best friend Gina and her brothers kept me company." By now, we were at my house, our argument of earlier in the day completely forgotten.

Jesse came around and opened the door for me while I was gathering my things, which I thanked him for, surprised.

He worked on his project with Jake while I did my homework, but then when he left he came and said good bye to me.

"Good bye, querida," he said, peering into my room.

"See you later, Jesse."

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The next day, during physics, Cee Cee and I were assigned to work on a project together. "Come on, Simon, come over to my place after school and we'll get started," Cee Cee said. "The bus leaves from the corner at 2:45, okay?" I nodded, and went off to my next class.

I met her at the fountain, chatted with Adam, Rachel, and Jesse for a minute or two, before they all departed to their own cars (how lovely it must be to drive. Paul had tried to teach me once, but got fed up and refused to let me in the driver's seat again after I nearly ran into a garbage can in his precious car.), and Cee Cee and I headed out to the street, chatting and brainstorming on our project.

However, parked innocently was a sight that made my legs stop walking, my mouth stop moving, and, regretfully, my heart skip a beat.

Leaning against his silver car was none other than Paul.

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Now, review.


	5. Chapter 5

This is the big chapter… you find out what happened between her and Paul :D

**Chapter Five**

And there was Paul.

I had almost forgotten how hot he was, in the few weeks that I'd been shoving him out of my mind.

"Suze? Come on, the bus…" Cee Cee trailed off when she saw what—or who, rather—I was looking at. "Who is _that_?"

He was still about a hundred yards away, but I could still see that trademark smirk, and the sun glistening on his hair. I couldn't breathe.

He stood up straighter, and his smirk turned into a smile. Was he waiting for me? Was he sorry?

Did he regret ending… us?

I was about to walk up to him, when I heard someone behind me. "Paul!" I turned around, and saw Kelly flounce towards him. Kelly, Miss Blonde and Popular.

Paul greeted her with his tongue, then they both slid into his car. She put her arm around his shoulder, and I saw his hand rest on her bare thigh where here miniskirt ended.

It was like the knife that he had stabbed in my heart 2 and a half weeks ago had slid out and stabbed me again. My hand gripped Cee Cee's wrist for support, as the air sucked itself out of my lungs.

"Suze, who was that?" she asked. I couldn't speak.

How could I have been so stupid to think he'd come back to me? I quickly wiped my eyes, before Cee Cee saw the few tears that had squeezed themselves out of my eyes.

Too late.

She grabbed my wrist, completely disregarding the bus we had to catch, and sat be down on a bench. "Suze, what wrong?"

"It's nothing… allergies," I said lamely. "Come on, the bus-"

"Screw the bus," she demanded. "Tell me what the hell is going on."

"Nothing," I protested, trying to get up, but she pushed me back down.

"This is _not_ nothing. I'm not stupid, you know. You have weird, unexplained bruises, strange girls come up and bitch you out for no reason, and now this guy comes and you start crying at the sight of him. Now, tell me, Suze, _what happened?_"

I sighed, and looked down the street.

_"Come on, Suze," he moaned in my ear. "It's okay, I won't hurt you."_

_It wasn't the first time he had gotten me on his bed, underneath him, missing some articles of clothing that I couldn't walk around town without unless I wanted to get arrested. It wasn't the first time I'd gotten second thoughts, either. But this time was different. I took a deep breath._

_"I know, Paul… I trust you." And then the rest of our clothes disappeared._

_An hour later, we lay there comfortably and quietly. I put my arm on his chest, feeling it rise and fall and the steady beat of his heart. "I love you," I whispered. He didn't say anything back. He must have already fallen asleep, I thought, and drifted off myself._

"That was Paul," I whispered. "He was my boyfriend at RLS." Cee Cee sat down next to me. I paused, but she didn't interrupt. "He asked me out when I moved here, last January, and suddenly everyone loved me. I was popular, I got invited to the parties, other guys were interested me." I laughed humorlessly. "Such a stark contrast to the way things were in Brooklyn… I got sucked into it all." I paused again. "But he kept trying to have sex with me. And I kept saying no. But eventually, I just thought, 'Oh, to hell with it. I love him, that's good enough.' So I slept with him." Cee Cee's eyes widened slightly behind her glasses. "And I told him that I loved him." Embarrassingly, more tears came, and I wiped them away. "And the next morning, when I went down for breakfast, my mom told me he had stopped by, and given her a note for me." Cee Cee obviously figured out where this was going.

"Oh, Suze," she said gently.

"It said that he wasn't ready for a commitment, and that he wanted to see other people. So I, being the stupid love struck idiot that I was, confronted him. And he got mad, and shoved me against the lockers and held me there, and told me to leave him alone." She rubbed my back gently.

"And those were your friends? At Dairy Queen?" she asked quietly, sympathy in her violet eyes.

"They dumped me just like he did. When I called them that night, crying, they just said similar bitchy things, that I was a slut, that I was a stupid, clingy bitch and they're surprised Paul and I had lasted that long before he got fed up with me."

"Oh, Suze…"

"And that's when I told my mom I wanted to transfer… I couldn't face a new school year with no friends and seeing Paul making out with his new blonde bimbo between classes."

"Kelly goes here," Cee Cee said, perplexed.

"I was talking about Laura," I said darkly, "the girl he drove off with after I confronted him at school."

"Oh," she said, at a loss of anything else to say. "Well… that explains a lot." I smiled wryly.

"Just… don't go around telling people, okay? I don't need the entire school to know that poor little Suze got dumped because she had sex." She shook her head vigorously, her white hair sparkling in the sun.

"Of course not."

"Now, come on… the bus will be here any second," I said. I was surprised how good it felt to tell someone what had happened… someone who didn't tell me that I had it coming and that it was all my fault.

……………………………………………………………………………………..

It was Friday, so after we worked on our project, Cee Cee convinced me to come with her to go see a movie. I vetoed the romantic comedy, even though I love those movies, and opted for the suspense thriller.

After the movie and a thorough discussion of the plot, Cee Cee brought up something I had been keeping my mind away from. "None of it really explains why you won't go out with Jesse."

I didn't need anything else to be said; I knew exactly what she was talking about. I looked at her sharply, wondering how she knew about me refusing his multiple offers to get coffee with him, or to go see a movie. He hadn't given up, always asking subtly and politely. However, I couldn't do anything with just him. I just couldn't.

"He told me. He's very confused about it, you know. You should tell him," she said gently. "He'll understand, better than anyone else can."

"No. I can't. And to answer your first question, doesn't it?" I looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"No, it doesn't. What better way to move on, then to go out for coffee with one of the hottest guys in the world, who, by the way, thinks you're pretty hot yourself." She answered the unspoken question in my eyes. "You'd be surprised what he says about you when you're not around. It's always 'Susannah this, Susannah that,'" she said, and I smiled a bit and blushed. "See? I knew you liked him. So tell me, why not?"

I sighed. "I'm not getting hurt again, Cee. Simple as that. I'm not opening myself up for that again." Cee Cee stopped walking.

"Suze, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. And I've been hanging out with Adam for almost ten years." I laughed, but then I realized she was insulting me.

"It's not stupid. It's a defense mechanism. I got burned once. I'm not reaching for the pot again."

"That's why you use a pot holder…er, a metaphorical one, of course. I'm not saying to dive into bed with the guy… sorry," she said, seeing my glare.

"I _never_ jumped into bed with him," I protested. "It was only after dating for _long_ time that I finally slept with him."

"I know… sorry. Inappropriate expression," she apologized. "But come on, what will a cup of coffee hurt?"

I didn't say anything back. I walked in silence, mulling over what she had just told me.

………………………………………………………………………………………

The weekend past fairly uneventfully. I met up with Rachel, Adam, and Cee Cee at Adam's house on Sunday afternoon to hang out, but that was really the only time I got out over the weekend.

Jesse couldn't be there. He was up at his ranch, visiting his family. I was surprised at how disappointed I was that I wouldn't be able to see him. Maybe Cee Cee was right.

On Monday, back at school, I realized that the student council had planned a Back to School dance that Friday. There were posters around the school, and Sister Ernestine made mention of it during the morning announcements. It was at the beach, which was cool. I'd always wanted to do that. Jenna had promised to suggest it to the student council, of which she was Vice President.

Cee Cee must not have mentioned anything about Paul to any of our friends, because they didn't act any different or say anything. I was grateful of this.

However…

That Wednesday was the first day that we got the chance to hang out again. Even if we didn't see each other, I did talk to Jesse on the phone every night. Not always for long, but we talked. We'd all been swamped with homework, but Wednesday we were all relatively homework free. So, I invited them over to my house. No one was home, so I brought them up to my room. It's not like we were going to do anything, seeing as there were, of course, five of us (and I don't think any of us are the sort to initiate an orgy), but my mom still isn't crazy about the idea of boys in my room.

It's too bad the innocence she was trying to protect has already been lost.

However, while I had been straightening my room before they came over, I had found the note.

_The_ note.

That had obviously dampened my spirits a bit, and I wasn't in the mood to just fool around and talk.

Cee Cee noticed, and while Adam and Jesse were downstairs getting some soda, she asked me what was up. I told her, and she clucked sympathetically but couldn't say any more because Adam stampeded through the door.

Jesse followed with a much calmer demeanor.

I excused myself to go to the bathroom. When I came back, I heard Jesse say my name. I froze, and listened.

"Cee, do you know why Susannah seems so upset? She was fine during lunch today." I heard Cee Cee sigh.

"She just… found something earlier. It brought back memories." I heard him sigh.

"Something just doesn't seem right with her. She's always seemed a bit sad."

"Well, she has good reason to," Cee Cee said. I couldn't see them, since the door was closed, but I could picture their faces perfectly. Jesse's intenseness focused on Cee Cee… Cee Cee's sudden realization of what she said. Adam's confusion.

"What do you mean? Did she tell you something?" Jesse asked. "Do you know why she had those bruises?" Cee Cee sighed.

"She told me… but swore me to secrecy," she apologized. "I wish she would tell you guys, but she doesn't want to.

"Cee Cee, please, tell us. I'm worried about her," Adam said.

"So am I," Jesse's voice said, deep and strong. "She… did her ex-boyfriend do something? He didn't… force himself on her, did he?" I could hear anger in his voice.

"No. He…" she let out a frustrated groan, then dropped her voice. "If you tell her I told you, you're dead. Both of you." They both murmured their acquiescence.

"Tell us," Adam urged. I held my breath.

"Suze's ex boyfriend is an ass. When they went out, he kept trying to have sex with her. She didn't want to for a while, but then she finally complied." As much as I wanted to stop Cee Cee from talking about my sex life, I couldn't move. I just sat there, listening, like she was talking about someone else, and I wanted to get the dirt.

"Whoa… so Suze isn't a virgin?" Adam asked. I heard the dull thud of someone hitting him. "Ow!"

"She finally did what he wanted her to do, because she loved him… and she told him. But the next day, he broke up with her. In a note." Jesse said something in Spanish. "She was obviously heartbroken… I mean, he broke up with her after she finally decided she loved him enough to sleep with him. But when she confronted him that day, he shoved her against the wall and held her there and basically told her to fuck off." I heard Jesse get up, and I felt the floor shake ever so gently with his pacing footsteps.

"Bastard," Adam said indignantly. Jesse kept muttering in Spanish. "Wait, what about those girls at DQ? Was that related?"

Cee Cee sighed again. "Yes… when Paul got rid of her, so did they. Apparently she called them up for sympathy, but instead they told her it was all her fault or something, and that she was a bitch and a whore."

"God… I had no idea," Adam said. "What assholes." To my surprise, my cheeks felt wet. Hearing it all from someone else… it was hard.

I finally worked up the strength to open the door. I leaned against the doorframe. "You all must think I'm some pathetic, weak little thing. That I'm too stupid to hold on for a guy a day longer than I held on to my virginity. That I'm an idiot for sleeping with such a jerk."

Adam looked taken aback. "God, Suze, not at all!" Jesse, who still looked very angry, softened his face and came over and held my face, gently wiping away the tears.

"Oh, _Querida_, I do not think you are an idiot at all. He is the fool, for letting someone was wonderful as you go," he whispered, kissing my cheek and pulling me into a hug.

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Aww… and, review. :D


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey guys. Sorry for the delay. I have been working on this chapter for a few days, before school starts and during math class and stuff. My computer finally got fixed on Friday, but then Saturday I was at my sister's regatta (5th place in women's 4! Whoo-hoo!) and didn't get home until midnight last night. Anyway, this is the last chapter… it went very quick. It seems like I just finished "The Fire". Well, I hope to maybe get another story up soonish… I don't know when, or what, or anything at all. I hope you all liked the story, and I'd appreciate any constructive criticism and suggestions on how to improve my writing. So, thanks a bunch for all the reviews, and I hope to get a bunch more:-)_

_ PS- Right. I tried to replace the A/N with this chapter, but it only came up with the author's note when I clicked on the link. So this is up until the real chapter 6 shows itself.  
_

**Chapter Six**

Things had actually gotten a lot easier with my friends knowing about what happened between Paul and me. I didn't have to lie and hide it anymore. Whenever I got into a bit of a melancholy mood, they chalked it up to a well-deserved case of PDB—Post-Breakup Depression—and stopped interrogating me.

The thing is, though, that most of my sadness wasn't because of Paul anymore, but Jesse. Cee Cee said that he was crazy about me, but now that I had prepared myself to accept to his next offer to get coffee (which he had been asking, multiple times, ever since that initial day), he just stopped asking. The little voice of his (which I had been trying to ignore) that had been telling me, "I like you, I want to be with you" just shut up. As soon as I told him the truth, all of those vibes just switched off. Just when I finally was paying attention.

It confused me. I mean, what was his deal? He couldn't handle that I had a past? That I wasn't a virgin?

Yea, Jesse did seem old-fashioned a bit. But just forgetting about me because I had sex? That's just stupid. Doesn't he realize I regret those decisions?

That isn't to say, though, that he stopped talking to me. We still hung out with the rest of our friends, we talked to each other on the phone every once in a while. But all of the things he had been doing, like sitting next to me, subtly making excuses to be near me or to touch me (like with the sunscreen that day at the beach), had stopped completely.

We were reduced to nothing more than friends.

And it hurt.

Because you know, I really had been falling for him. I was just too caught up trying not to realize it.

Cee Cee, Adam, Rachel, Jesse, and a few of our other friends from school arranged to meet up at the dance at the beach that Friday. I almost decided not to go, but Cee insisted, thinking it was still Paul that was bothering me.

So, that Friday night, after supper I changed into a red tank top and soft, gently worn jeans. I looked at myself in the mirror quickly, but then realized that everyone would be able to clearly see my bruises—which _still_ hadn't faded after nearly 3 weeks. Paul had one hell of a grip, I had to give him that.

Must be from all that tennis… if a tennis player can't hold their racket, what the hell are they going to do?

I quickly threw on a dark brown wrap—one of those ones that only cover the top half of your torso—and the bruises disappeared.

Perfect.

Brad drove us both down to the beach. The music was pulsing, and it was beginning to get dark. There was a slight, brisk breeze, and I was glad for the longer sleeves.

I spotted Cee Cee's white hair, practically glowing in the dark, and hurried over.

"Hey, Suze! Pull up a chair," Adam greeted. I found a chair, which were scattered around, and sat between Rachel and her friend Kira's boyfriend, Keith, who was in my history class. Jesse was on the other side of Rachel.

We all chatted, just hanging out and joking around with each other, while half the school had sex. Or at least doing a dance that was uncomfortably close to it.

Eventually, though, a slow song came on. To all of our surprise, Adam asked Cee Cee to dance. Kira and Rachel both disappeared with their boyfriends, so it was just Jesse and me left in our little chair circle. We both fell silent for the first verse. Then, as the chorus came on, Jesse cleared his throat.

"Susannah, would you like to dance?" It may have only been an offer out of politeness, but I smiled and accepted all the same.

He held me gently, and I enjoyed being in his arms. We swayed to the music, and I was lost in him. I drifted my eyes shut for a moment, resting my cheek on his strong shoulder, completely filled with bliss.

Until I opened my eyes, and saw someone—someone who's face and body and voice were very familiar to me.

A few yards away, Paul was dancing with Kelly. I yelped slightly in surprise, and Jesse's grip on my waist and hand tightened.

"What is it, Susannah?" he asked. I cowered against his large chest, hoping Paul didn't see me. A bit immature, I know, but I was _not_ in the mood to have a conversation with him.

"It's just… someone I don't exactly want to see," I muttered into his shirt.

"Who?" he asked.

I sighed, and, in a severe lack of judgment, said, "Kelly is over there, dancing with Paul. My ex-boyfriend." Jesse suddenly released me, and turned around. His face was set, and had an edge of anger that I had never seen there before. He began searching the crowd, presumably for Kelly. And Paul, though he didn't know who Paul was or what he looked like. "Jesse, stop!" I squeaked, but it was too late.

Jesse spotted Kelly and started stalking across the dance area. "Jesse!" I cried, following him. I wasn't fast enough, though. Before I knew it, Jesse had pulled Kelly's dancing partner away from her forcefully. Paul barely had time to say "What the hell!" before Jesse's fist plowed into his face. Kelly screamed, and I, along with all those in the vicinity, gasped.

Paul, stunned at the sudden flow of blood from his nose, swore and launched himself at Jesse.

"Stop it!" I shouted uselessly. The two fell to the ground, trying to hit each other. Everyone had stopped dancing, and was crowding around. What was Jesse, the gentlemanly (and hot) honors student, doing trying to beat up Paul, the mysterious (and hot) stranger from RLS?

A few teachers began to scurry over as Paul got in a good punch. Cee Cee appeared at my side. "What the _hell_ is going on? Who is that?" She demanded.

"Paul," I said helplessly. She had a quick moment of recognition and comprehension, and then nodded grimly.

The two had gotten back off the ground, and I heard Jesse say something to him, but before Paul could respond, Mr. Walden and Mr. Austin, a chemistry teacher with a handlebar mustache, pulled them apart.

I ran over to Jesse, who was still glowering, but had stopped fighting—both Paul, and Mr. Austin. I was about to ask him if he was okay when Paul called my name.

"Suze? _You_ put him up to this?"

"Leave me alone," I said confidently, even though inside I was shaking.

"God, Suze, just because he broke up with you, you sic Jesse on him?" Wow. Kelly used the word "sic." I was impressed. "What a pathetic loser." Echoes of other people, my former friends, saying the same thing rang in my ears. I refused to listen.

Other people murmuring brought me back to what she said. Suze went out with him? I could hear them all asking each other and themselves.

"I didn't do anything," I shot back. "And did he happen to tell you what happened when we broke up?" Her forcedly casual indifference told me he didn't. He looked slightly nervous.

My anger at him was erupting. At the moment, I didn't care about people knowing what had happened between the two of us. I wasn't hurting anymore—I was majorly pissed off. Words tumbled out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying.

"He broke up with me in a _note_. Which he gave to my _mom_ to give to me. The morning _after_ we had sex. _After _I told him I loved him. Then, you know what he did? He shoved me. Slammed me into the wall, and held me there." Kelly's façade cracked, and I saw that her eyes looked troubled.

"Now you tell me," Jesse broke in, "why he doesn't deserve that." Everyone looked at Paul, who shot venom at me from his eyes. He was like a male version of Winona Ryder in "The Crucible," shooting the evil eye at anyone who said that she was making the witchcraft stuff up.

Paul was still being held back by Mr. Walden, but even my teacher had stopped and was listening to our exchange.

After a few heartbeats, Paul started talking. "You stupid bitch. I never did any of that. You're just jealous that I moved on to a hotter piece of ass."

"Then where the hell did I get these?" I asked, pulling off my sweater. The tank top underneath revealed all. "Three weeks, Paul. It's been three _fucking_ weeks, and I still have these damn bruises. From _you._"

Paul's mouth opened again, but this time Mr. Walden had come to his senses and stepped in. "Simon, de Silva, get out of here. I'll deal with you two later." Still holding Paul's arm, he shoved the two of us away.

Suddenly, everything I had just said and done rushed back to me, and I saw everyone staring at me. "Oh God," I groaned, and I ran away from the whispering, shocked crowd. They had all come to the dance to, well, dance. And they just got the biggest gossip story of the year.

At the edge of the water, I sank down, my head in my hands. A minute or so later, I heard the nearly silent squeaks of feet on sand. "Susannah?" Jesse said. I quickly stood up. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," I said. "How about you?" He was getting a black eye, and had a bruise forming on his cheekbone.

"I'll live." I sighed.

"Why did you _do_ that?" I asked, a bit angry. He looked at me as if I was stupid to not know.

"He hurt you," he said simply. I groaned.

"Could your signals be any more mixed?" I muttered, running my hand through my hair and looking out over the water. The moon hung low in the sky, and left a white streak across the otherwise black mass.

"What was that, _Querida_?" I groaned again, exasperated. I had already confronted Paul tonight; I figured, why stop there? I needed answers.

"Is it because I'm not a virgin?" I asked bluntly. His eyes widened.

"W-what? What are you talking about?" he asked.

"You. Not liking me anymore." He looked even more confused.

"Susannah, I-"

"I mean, God, Jesse, I actually _like _you. I didn't think it was possible to feel this way again after Paul, but I guess it is. And you have to go and stop liking me because I made a _mistake_? I was all set to go out with you for coffee, maybe more." To my embarrassment, I felt tears escape my eyes. "It took a lot to prepare myself to let myself care about someone again. I was all set to never let anyone into my life, but Cee Cee finally convinced me otherwise. And _you_ had to go screw that up for me again."

I turned around in frustration, and quickly wiped away my tears. Jesse didn't say anything, and I thought that he had walked away, or something. But then I felt something touch my shoulder softly, and he turned me back around to face him.

"Oh, _Querida_," he whispered, gently cupping the side of my face with his hand and wiping away a stray tear with his thumb. I couldn't breathe. "I'm sorry. It isn't like that at all."

"Then what is it?" I asked, sniffling.

"Susannah, I've wanted so badly to be with you," he whispered. "But when I found out about what happened with... him," he began, but I interrupted.

"You decided you didn't want to be with someone who isn't as pure as the driven snow?" I asked scornfully.

"_Querida_, not at all. I forced myself to restrain myself because of Paul. I knew you still loved him, and I thought you needed time for yourself... you didn't need me, pestering you all the time." My breath caught again. He let out a slow breath. "And I couldn't bear to be refused again, because you still love that ..." Again, he used a word in Spanish that I didn't know.

"Jesse," I whispered, hoping desperately this is what I thought it was, "I never really loved him. I know that now." He gave me a half smile, and slowly leaned towards me. His head blocked out the moon and the stars…

And he was kissing me. It was a sweet, gentle, loving kiss. So different from the ones Paul gave me. I kissed back, wrapping my arms around him, feeling the short hairs at the base of his head.

He intensified the kiss, delving deeper and holding me tighter, but still keeping the kiss gentle and loving and, well, not pushy.

We kept kissing until Mr. Walden came and had to drag Jesse away to be disciplined.

**……………………………………………………………………………..**

**EPILOGUE** (for those of you who, like me, need to know what happens after the end of the story)

Jesse and I "officially" started dating the next day, when he took me out for a quick (but nice) meal before taking me to see a movie.

Being with him was so much different than with Paul. Paul pushed and pulled; Paul liked having a girlfriend more than he liked his girlfriend.

Jesse, though, allowed me to take my time to catch up to him, and waited until I was ready. He focused on me, rather than the image of the two of us together.

That Monday after the dance, the people who weren't at the beach already knew about the fight and my dramatic story. Even more whispers surrounded us when Jesse kissed me briefly and squeezed my hand when we met up for lunch with the rest of the group.

All of our friends were very happy we'd finally hooked up. Apparently Cee Cee wasn't the only one to pick up on the chemistry between Jesse and me. Rachel and Kira, who I wasn't that close to, were ecstatic when they saw Jesse slip his arm around my waist and kiss my cheek.

During lunch, though, I suddenly saw Rachel's eyebrows go up, then I felt a tap on my shoulder. "Suze?" I turned around, and there stood Kelly. She looked a bit nervous, and was chewing at her cuticles—at risk to her manicure. "Can I talk to you? And Jesse?"

"Sure," I said, shooting Jesse a glance. We stood up, and followed her to an obscure corner of the courtyard.

"I just wanted to say… I just wanted to apologize for what happened on Friday," she said in a rush. I was shocked. Kelly, _apologize_? "And… well, I broke up with Paul." She shook her head. "I can't believe he, like, _hit_ you. I mean, like, how much more of an ass can you be?" Jesse and I just looked at her. "And I'm sorry about Paul giving you the black eye," she said to Jesse. "He was totally out of line." Jesse shrugged.

"I hit him first." She blinked at him, with a forcedly neutral look on her face. I knew she thought he was hot. Hell, who didn't?

"Right… well, I'm really sorry. For everything." Then her eyes narrowed. "But tell anyone I told you this, and _you'll_ be the sorry ones."

I didn't find it at all unusual that the most popular girl in school had just apologized for her ex-boyfriend's behavior and then threatened me. What I found unnerving was that I was not unnerved at all. I had seen and experienced much stranger things. It comes with the job.

After that, she walked off, back around the corner, flicking her shimmering hair back and rejoining her friends. I distantly heard her saying something about how she was just talking to one of her teachers about a homework assignment. Her, be caught talking to her ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend? Never.

Still slightly in shock, Jesse and I rejoined our friends.

After school that day, I told Brad not to wait up for me when he drove home, and met up with Jesse at his car.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked as he slid into the drivers seat—he had just opened and closed my door for me.

"Anywhere," I smiled, "as long as it's with you." He smiled back, and gave me a lingering kiss.

He drove off, breaking Rule Number One of driving (Both Hands on the Wheel) to hold and gently caress my hand.

I was so glad that I had finally learned to love.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

The end.

And now, please, review.


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